feeling forlorn on this midnight run
what is a friend, if not one who walks beside you?
several times i almost walked into traffic and you were not there to stop me, to tell me it was wrong
learning is not so fun alone as it is with another.
when we were little and all we cared about was playing in the mud…
i miss those times.
these are not so fun.
the days when my adventures were not hurdles to be conquered on my own
those felt so much safer
i want to search for caves that are not there, filled with make-believe bears
i want to wade through pretend swamps and dive into deep waters which are only the willows in the field.
with you those things were possible, with you my friend.
but here? there are no imagined caves – there are real caves filled with work and danger and life
there are real bears who will eat you and your clothes and your finances
there are true swamps and the more you struggle to get out, the more you are pulled into the mire and muck
and sometimes it seems the deep waters are rising over my head.
I miss the times when I would swim with you to the beach and we had not a care but to lie in the sun and avoid the burn
now i must think of skin cancer and consequences
and you must think of battle scars and the hardships that lie ahead
what keeps me going then…i will tell you though I know you are already filled with this knowledge.
soon, soon there will be a break and we will reunite.
we have a place that only we may go, because for only we know its magic
and though at times it is haunted, it is with good memories
and though at times it’s scary, we have each other to protect and like be protected by
this is one place, but there are many
and every time and everywhere is always a place when i’m with you
and there is always an adventure
and the air is always filled with laughter
and suddenly, the traffic of life is gone
the petty squalor and fights have left my life
i don’t trouble and worry about those who rise up against me
for who can with you by my side? i know you will always be on my side, you will always defend me
on this night i make hot chocolate. i write to you. i miss my childhood, although i know that it will be rekindled in mere weeks
i know that anything is possible, and as the hot cocoa flows through me and i am warmed inside out, defrosted from the cold and terror which i have just escaped
I know that you are also warm and safe and thinking of me.