Such Sweet Sleep

The rain, it falls and falls on the window pane

And I stare outside from the dazzling classroom

And I wonder why all I feel is the gloom

That the rain lets  fall through the clouds, oh the clouds

And the dark grey mass feels heavy on our hearts

And it shrouds all our thoughts and it softens all our arts

See the darkness come, in the haze, oh the haze

My eyes, they want to close from my sleepless night

And the lights how they hurt when they shine so bright

But my eyes meets his across the room, oh the room

And his are small and his mouth is frowned

Somehow I think, we could turn our lives around

If we could talk to each other, talk it out, shout it out

And his bright blue shirt attracts my deep blue gaze

I wonder if for me it’s just a phase

Because when I love when I crush, it’s just a crush, oh a crush

And I make up a story that I never knew to be true

And I’m let down, ‘cause of things they’d never really do

Sometimes it’s all in my head, in my stupid crazy head

When all I’m looking for is a crazy, stupid love

Thinking that it could be something destined from above

It’s a trick, it really is, because it never really is

Could never be so real as something you wish to feel

And it hurts when your affection seems to have no kind of appeal

And you’re ignored, so ignored like no one knows of pain

That you suffer when they don’t even know of your name

And all you can think is that you are probably the same

Suffering through this course, and this life, oh this tortured little life

It’s a tricky little dance when you find a person you deserve

And you have them on your mind, and it’s them that you observe

But do you really know you like them from afar, oh afar

It’s all just speculation, maybe you’re just bored in this class

Maybe he looks like somebody would take your tests and pass

But maybe they’re a bore and would put you right to sleep, oh needed sleep

When really you’re craving someone to take you to a bed

But never ever sleeping and doing something else instead

And the rain patters at the screen as it falls to the ground, the hard ground

And it penetrates the dirt and it softens hard concrete

And you can see the steam when the cold rain feels the heat

And the passion of the nature becomes visible at last, but never lasts

And you seek the place between sex and fear

Where passion lives and feels so dear

And then the boy across the room is no longer alone, so alone

But has found someone for him so great

And they are out on their sweet date

And you are off, forgetting him, but still alone, oh so alone

And looking out the window and writing on the weather

Still hoping and praying that this lonely life gets better

Because the rain is accumulating on the ground, oh the ground

And the flooding begins at the stoop of my door in excess

And I sweep with the broom to hardly a success

So I grab a rag to take it in, wring it out, and take in, soak it up

But I realize it’s not rain but it’s tears and it’s sorrow

And I didn’t quite account for how many cloths I had to borrow

And the salty water fills up the room, this hot room

So I toss and I turn in the feverish hot sweat

To wake up and realize there was never any threat

And this lack of sleep, and this loneliness takes its toll, what a toll

That penetrates my thoughts, my dreams, and my mind

It takes a while to distinguish and to find

The reality I live and the people that I like, want to like

And wonder if they will like me across this too bright room

As they sit in shirt so blue that stands out against the gloom

Quietly sitting with their face, their kind face

Staring straight ahead, while I stare from aside

And I type out my notes, and memorize the lies

That I tell myself before I sleep, how I long to sleep

That I don’t need that, and I don’t need this

And I’m not that tired, and I don’t want a kiss

That I’m too independent for a partner, for a spouse

I don’t want kids with their grubby little hands

And I want to live alone so I can travel all the lands

But this class is long, and his face distracts, his expression so strong

And I imagine being needed by someone like to me

And that’s when I know all I really need is sleep, such sweet sleep.

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