It’s selfish and conceited, but sometimes I like to think I was your worst.
I was this little period in your life that you swallow pills to forget
I was the worst thing to ever happen to you
I kept you up all night, tossing in your bed, while thoughts went round your head
Like who the fuck is she, and did she mean what she said?
I’m a little piece of nightmare that got stuck in your dream teeth.
I’m the ghost devil on your shoulder, that you really thought was dead
And every so often you recall what I did
And think shit what did I get into, and can it never happen again.
I was conceited when I loved you, I was selfish when I left
I tossed words without abandon, I belittled what we had
Misery loves company, was my battle cry
I hung the phrase on all my banners, and let harsh words fall from my lips
Each second I felt scorned I thought would be my last
Every teardrop that fell from my eye you knew I blamed on you
I stuck a dagger in your chest, hoping to rake through
Your ribs and crack them down to dust
I love to imagine how I was the worst thing to ever happen to you
And in that I will be immortalized
That slanderous tale told at a cabin, and ghost story for the young
A cautionary tale of psycho bitches and what can come undone
A warning for your friends, a comedy for the bored,
A thank-your-lucky-stars-it-wasn’t-you for the unappreciative ignored
I will outlive all the rest, based on my infamy of horribleness
And then I feel downright bad.
Because I loved you in the moment, I treasured what we had
I trusted every word you spoke, believed each lie you said –
I think we both did – and when I started believing I was the
Worst thing that could happen to you, that I was crazy and insane,
I ran away and still blame you, even if it’s all in vain
Because I am the worst thing to ever happen to you