As water falls

Moments like these
teetering on the edge,
nearest to death
we feel most alive.
So easy to slip makes
our grip that much tighter
when hours ago, I could see
no point in carrying on
a powerful awakening
of all senses through
nature grounds me to
the here and now.
If I could live like this forever
I would not know sorrow,
only joy and nostalgia for
the sublime.
This feeling pressing upon my
chest, sending chills down
my sweaty spine
lends me a euphoria
no drug can mimic.
Let me lay my head near
the running river so I
may rest, alive, in peace.

Relative Synecdoche

I am revealed in pieces,
chip away, mine me, deep sea dive me,
peer through the holes in curtains covering dusty windows
and perhaps you will see pieces of my tapestry
carefully woven throughout my life,
guided not by Three Fates, but my own hand
my own choices, deliberate and purposeful
even when scattered and careless
appearance and reality rarely run parallel paths

See this life, a conscious collection of action, thought, feeling
unconscious collaboration of infinite lifetimes
forgotten memories, shared histories erased by rebirth
compassion, kindness, love, learned patience through
trial and tribulation, rejoice to replace envy
and work to plant good seeds, nurturing
the growth of peace and joy

Oh beloved friend, I have opened my mind
so that I can learn all I’m able, absorb all I may
to in turn understand you with a knowledge
that comes from communion and connection
a closeness I feel in my breast and dissolve upon
a white heart of Philia and Agape, perhaps Pragma
and so many other loves born of curiosity and bred by passion

Yet when you look at me you stand in marvel
for I am still robed though you were undressed.
while I find that most are comforted in the revelation
that someone will not just understand, but uplift
and I delight in my talented comprehension of
the human condition, enjoying the like-minded energy
we may share, I walk invisible past the mirror
I wouldn’t look into, fearful of the narcissistic pull
having learned my lesson over a thousand existences,
drowning while loving only a reflection of myself.

The time for seeing with our eyes is over
(did it ever exist?)
A time for feeling with our hearts is within reach
(it always was)
exploration and curiosity is a must
(as is trust)
patience a virtue, not to be misplaced
(as pieces fast uncovered are just as fast erased)

I put my hand in your hand, fingers interlaced
I try to walk as fast, just to keep the pace
I try to uncover myself, reveal in harmony
a time lapsed story, a linear retrace
but it’s so hard for me to strip down to base
to keep things in order and memory trace
as things in my mind are cyclical, the Relativity staircase,
a spiral, repetitive journey, in love, lessons and grace

I thank you for your patience
I thank you for your time
I thank you for investment
of heart and soul and mind
As I watched the sun rise and watched the sun set,
I selfishly had wondered, what out of this world I get
Instead of pouring in everything I have
and letting my reflection shine back a most selfless mindset

Now that change has happened, and growth will still occur
I share these pieces of myself, and with love and trust refer
you to these stories, a tapestry of me
A puzzle missing pieces, a tale told out of turn,
mixed up metaphors and fragmented synecdoche
to in part reveal a whole, something for which to yearn
I won’t make you deep sea dive or without light explore the caves
I won’t let you drown in depths, nor alone survive the waves.

I am the guide through my own life, for those who sit and wait
for those who give and share with me
who ache to still explore
I am revealed in pieces, so listen carefully
a slivered wound, manifold whole,
messy, clean, and unmasked soul
torn and frayed tapestry, resewn at some seams
gleaming, shiny, sparkling bright
pure and unadulterated light
a woods with growth old and new
forest fires, just a few…

So I will tell my tale to those
who’ve fought and understand
with checked privilege, proof of patience
those who’ve taken stand
You have a story that I’ve heard,
and so I’ll give my word
I’ll sing unlike the caged bird
for I’m already free.
I’ll sing my song for those pure hearts
who lust to undo me.

Pronoun

No singularity defines her and she is bound by no laws.

She dances to the wind with the grasses and trees.

She is starlight and nothing physical or meta will bind her. She is not a chocolate to be unwrapped, a body to be undressed. She is sunshine and unspoken words. Nameless as a breath, but just as vital.

She is stormy, a fierce water wide and strong. She calls tempest or she calls calm.

She is purpose and purposeful.

She resides beside a hateful void of pitch and ire. She holds the key to Pandora’s box which was originally broke ope by Adam. She has condemned Adam.

She is judge, jury and life giver. Life bringer. She wields only arrows of Truth.

She plays and toys and laughs a tune. She takes it in stride. She calls Death to play the serious role and she chooses Life.

She is unearthly though of this earth. She is not the rose of June.

She is yearning. She is desire. She is in spite of man’s folly. She is in spite of disaster.

She is timeless and truth. Truth beauty.

Endless.

absent humanity

We plunder for pockets of warmth
in a frigid winter
while ignoring the most
vulnerable
Who stamp their feet
not to feel warmth
but to be heard
And still they remain
invisible
to us who have shut our eyes
Because we get goosebumps
when walking from our cars
to the mall
No spare time to spare
change
for the world, create
change
for your neighbour.

To have Christian values
is enough
And to talk about the weather
is enough
And to rub our own hands
together
is enough
To create the warmth we need
Others may burn or freeze
But we are the good and
faithful
Like witches who smoldered at
the stake
If they are innocent they will
be rewarded
In the ether.

They have enough
Because we have enough
and because they are
invisible to us
especially in a frigid
winter.

The Uncanny Heart

I know this to be a broken heart
I know this from experience
I recognize this malady
this discomfort this ache

Broken ribs pierce a lung,
air slowly seeps into the cavity,
now empty, where my heart resided
before it burst, shattering ribs
puncturing the lung
not enough to kill me,
just enough to make me tired,
something about not enough oxygen to the brain
as it slowly fills the empty space,
leeching useless into the body
it no longer feeds

The twinge of vacancy
causing glazed eyes, mislaid thoughts,
forgotten desires…motives not worth the effort
of their eventual loss.

But this uncanny feeling is not what confuses me –
there is comfort in its familiarity
and shelter in the dark,
no hazards to lose what is not there –
what elation, what faith, what ambition?
All absent with the forfeiture of my core –

What obscures conclusion
is that no injury has occurred,
no sudden travesty or infirmity,
so what has generated such a heartache,
a brain sickness?

What is missing, save happiness itself –
which can still be found in
the blue sky
a good song
time with friends
a joke, a laugh
books and escapism –
an unsettling lack of loss dictates
at least an indifferent condition be established
– but not the torment of
heartbreak

Bits of mystery spill from the
Pandora box that now endures
in the airy space under my sternum.

Press on.
Let lack of heart not be distraction,
No more to wear upon my sleeve,
only a secret my face cannot keep.

 

Just Another Music Monday

The weather has been beautiful. I’ve been a little less melancholic – almost happy even! Summer is rubbing off on me…also I’m fostering kittens which has brought great joy to my life in just the three short days I’ve had them! (exclamation marks abound!)

Here are this week’s song recommendations:

“Just One Day” by Mighty Oaks

“Formaldehyde” by Editors

“You & Me & The Radio” by Abandon Kansas

“Love Illumination” by Franz Ferdinand:

 

Enjoy!