Why not Wednesday?

~distilled~

I am filtered water

But the chlorine taste is still there

And I dont like the grit

Of my own minerals

Drying like a salt stain

On my tongue

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Escape

What is this restless thing inside me,
that says I can’t be still?

What burden do I carry,
that causes me to write?

An incessant tapping of the foot
and a crying at the gate,

I’m leaving here tonight;
I’m sorry I can’t wait.

I’ll leave you all behind,
as I plan this great escape.

I’ll toss the bed sheets through the frame
and rappel down the wall,

For there’s a time and there’s a place
for each and every thing.

I have yet to find my own
the time and place where I belong;

I have yet to find a time to sing
a place to birth my song.

A whisper in the corner
A voice that says, “don’t go,”

A shadow ever moving
even though I’ve long stood still

A haunting in the corridor
A ghost that grasps my throat

A rustle in the rafters
a noose to hang my coat.

With a cloak slung ‘round my shoulders,
and thick boots on my feet

The freezing rain invites me,
to dance out in the street.

A tappa-tap, a tippy-toe,
hot tea in thermos packed,

Tonight I’ll make the great escape
And never will turn back.

Each photo that I gaze upon
has seemed to lose its luster,

The bitter wind that stings my face
threatens to ruin my things,

The memories I’ve packed up tight
I’m not yet prepared to lose,

And of all these sweet belongings
not one I’d truly choose

To throw away, and let go the past
for ever does it follow;

It nips and bites my black-blue heels
and cracks the ice I walk on.

Will I really leave tonight,
embark upon this journey?

Can one start over, really leave
and demand a new beginning?

What you’ve done, it comes in dreams
reminds you where you’ve been;

If you are lost, but see the light
you’ll never reach le fin.

There are false trails, you might have known
that set off the mouse trap-tricks;

You’ve danced around such snares before
but what allure you love

You dust the mantelpiece with care
just before you go.

You’ll meet me where crossroads collide;
we are one, you know.

Indifference

I want so badly to be indifferent
I wish wholeheartedly not to feel

But every word, and every smile
forces my memory to reveal

The hidden thoughts, a secret world
I’ve tried quite often to bury

Because no one here could understand
and shouldn’t I be wary

To reveal what was once concealed
and so boldly preserved

A thought to spark this secret desire
what’s worse, I thought I deserved…

He didn’t care, he wouldn’t dare
to become someone who loved

And this I pushed aside with glee,
thinking I’d avoided being shoved

This way, that way, back and forth
A world I cared not to know

But now I stand on ground well trodden
feeling things I’d long forgotten, see the glow

And how it shows the light in my eyes
at the same time with the light is the dark

It always overwhelms and swells
sadness hunts joy, sorrow a shark

Cutting through the happy waters
of my tepid disposition

As it swells and rises like a tide
when my bosom holds this recognition

And so I stand up to say, I’m sorry,
I can’t, good bye and I must go

We can’t be friends because of this
thing I can’t let go, even though, even though…