Why not Wednesday?

Absence.

I am the organizer

I am the planner

I’m the mom

I’m the hostess

I make sure that everyone is settled

Before I feed myself

I make sure that everyone’s happy

Before I’m ever pleased

I am the worrier,

Only for others

I will suffer at the expense

Of someone else’s happiness

I keep track of appointments

I always know the way

When you need something done right

You can come to me.

But the one time,
any of those one times,
that I will need something in return

Silence.

The response is never as fast

As the act that prompts it.

What is fairness and justice

If you expect something in return

anyway

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Why not Wednesday?

As it comes round to hump day once more
I take a look at the week I’ve endured –
how many more days to go?

I sit in class and stare out the window,
sometimes wondering what I’m paying for…

Is it a degree? A piece of paper? Is it someone to tell me things I already know?
Because I feel like I could be pushing myself so much more.

I have so much more to learn,
why isn’t everything more of a challenge?

As I stand up in front of my class and
read my prepared speech,
I hear my voice quaver and falter, and I think,
“This is not me.”

But it is, and I am, and I always must be.

It’s time to shake off the nerves and participate in life.
I don’t have time to die poor, alone, and starving –
no matter what kind of artist I think I could be.

Why Not Wednesday?

It’s Wednesday.

I’ve had writer’s block for the past few days, and, frankly, I’m at a loss for words for what is going on in the world right now.

I have been following Anonymous on Twitter and tumblr, and I love them.

I completely believe in what they’re doing.  Where some people may see it as an act of terrorism against the government, I see it as an act of courage, of freedom.  They are standing up for what millions of people deserve and want – and, ironically, they don’t even know how much of their freedom is being stripped away from them day to day.

I just wish people would open up their eyes, and maybe be a bit more aware of what’s going on in the world.

 

Wednesday’s word is: awareness.

Quotes on Awareness:

“To Think and be fully alive are the same.” – Hannah Arendt

“But of course there are all different kinds of freedom, and the kind that is most precious you will not hear much talked about in the great outside world of winning and achieving and displaying. The really important kind of freedom involves attention, and awareness, and discipline, and effort, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over and over, in myriad petty little unsexy ways, every day. “ – David Foster Wallace

Quotes by Anonymous (writers):

“Concern should drive us into action and not into depression.”

“Be alert to give service. What counts a great deal in life is what we do for others.”

Awareness quote to think about:

“We are to awaken from the illusion of our separateness.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

 

Thank you to Anonymous for being the interesting highlight of my week.  Keep on hacking.  I expect it.

 

Why Not Wednesday?

I never could find the big dipper, and yet

I spot Orion’s belt every time I look up at the stars.

My head back, my heels clack: click (clock) ((clock)),

An impressive noise in the night,

On the pavement, in the street

Strikingly feminine, and startlingly angry

Echoing, click (clock) ((clock))

And someone texting me, asking if I’m alone

Scolding me and telling me that I know better.

I know we normalize violence, and blame those that stand their ground

I know we shut up those people with a voice.

I know that I like to walk alone, at night, in my scary

Clacking heels. Click (clock) ((clock))

Intimidating frightful men, and seeing girls turn their backs

Knowing that I’m lacking

Maybe, their impressively huge racks,

But knowing no one’s tracking

My every move. Nor do I care. Should I get whacked

then I’ll be smacking

Back. Click. (Clock.) ((Clock.))

Why not Wednesday?

She got me the moment I walked in the door.
I hung my head down as I replied,
“It’s not done.”

Hint of shame in my voice,
an awkwardness to my withdrawn stance,
knowing I have done wrong.

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat
as she said,
“That explains it.”

Although her voice lacked judgment,
I knew I had done wrong,
and that was enough.

Too bad it won’t stop me from procrastinating tonight.

Why not Wednesday?

Standing behind moustached girls to get coffee frustrates me.
It frustrates me that they have moustaches – why?
There is a strip of wax you can purchase at each and every drug and grocery
store.
It will remove the masculinity staining your face.
It frustrates me that they don’t know what to order,
and their primitive eyebrows make me grind my teeth
why are they here.  They don’t belong.  They don’t need to buy coffee
like me.

It frustrates me that they frustrate me.
Why am I bothered by this?  I of all people understand the
un necessity to conform to societal norms,
but their moustaches and their bushy eyebrows
arouse in me a sort of demented anger that can’t be explained
by simple
rationale.

It frustrated me that I needed to get to work,
and that the people holding up the line
were moustached girls, fat women, indecisive idiots.

Choose something and leave, I couldn’t help thinking,
so that I  may continue to my own personal hell
doing something that I never want to support

And even in the realization that my frustration may not come
directly from the dolts in front of me,
their inability to choose a coffee size,
their slow mind processes and the lack of care for those around them,

I am still frustrated by the girls with moustaches.